The Paradox of Good

It is funny how we (inclusively) have successfully created a family of hypocrites in our quest for *good people*. This has been the case because we have a distorted meaning/perception of who ‘good’ and ‘bad’ friends are. Our definition of “good friends” are people who make nice and incredibly awesome comments, posts and status updates about us while “Bad friends” are those set of humans that will always criticize our works, reading between the lines in every posts or comments or statements we make, in order to tell us the errors or warning or mistakes we have made.

This misconceived ideology has strategically placed us in the position where we run away or avoid the people who are actually trying to make us better people by pointing out areas that need to be amended. And has guided us to unconsciously employ ‘hypocrites’: people with low sense of intellectual capacity (politically correct experts and flatterers). They will always at all-time in all situations tell you that you are doing great even when you are floating in errors and perpectual ignorance, mostly for personal gains (not necessarily monetary).

I mean, who does not love to wake up in the morning to a beautifully written post or people speaking well of him/her? We like to retweet, repost, share and screenshot seemingly beautiful, nicely worded or well-crafted works that feed our egos. But when someone tells us what we don’t like, we block, unfriend, ban and report them.

I am not saying that you should be nitpicking, looking for the slightest errors to comment about. I am saying that we need to also appreciate people who are able to correct us. People make constructive criticism of our works. I strongly believed that there is an element of truth or something to learn from in every criticism. And its not everyone that is knows how to make constructive criticisms. While some can express it in the form of jokes, piece of advice or stories, others are known to “give it raw”(as it is).

Haven said that, for those who are gifted in finding out errors in us, please also try to appreciate us when we do something right. If you’re an error detector, it means that you at least have a sense of what is good. And so find out those things that we did or are doing well and appreciate it at least once in your life with us.

A real life example, I had the privilege of being in a meeting with great minds some time ago (all Glory to God), and I was asked to proffer solution to the problem of how to get “our suffering/dying children to open up to us on where the challenge/sickness is affecting them so that we could be of help. I mean we have qualified doctors, surgeons, therapists, etc., who are capable of taking care of them”. This was a very technical problem. But I give a very concise and practical solution “BUILD RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM”. If you’re able to build a healthy trust-based relationship with people, they will tell you everything even before you ask them the challenges facing them.

Therefore, if you want to be a person of influence on people, first learn to appreciate the good they have done, then with love tell them what areas that they need to work on. And if possible, suggest the possible ways of going about it.

As for us who are being criticized or rebuked, let’s not run away from those people who rebuke or correct or point out the mistakes in our work. They are for our good. Let us not necessarily be looking at how much well those people are able to apply it to their lives. DO NOT SURROUND YOURSELF WITH EXCESSIVELY NEGATIVE PEOPLE. Your good friends or those that love you will always tell you the truth even when it doesn’t sound palatable. Take time to think and reflect on every criticism that you are opportune to receive. You grow more by learning from past mistakes.

By the way, I look really cute in these pictures – write your comments below and be aware that #demdeyrushus 👌🕺🤣🤴

2 thoughts on “The Paradox of Good

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